God knew we needed her.

It's this sweet girls birthday today.  She turns 6.  I remember like it was yesterday..  finding out I was pregnant with her.  Asher was a mere 5 months old.  5 months ya'll.  And I don't think he had slept yet..  well, maybe for only 20 minutes.  He was not a sleeper.  He was a wide awake, curious, alert, round baby.  Which meant Momma had not slept for 5 months either.  I was tired.  I remember standing in our kitchen behind the counter, prepping for dinner when John walked in.  I'm pregnant, I told him.  Again.  We'll have another newborn due the end of October.  And I cried.  I cried, because sometimes finding out you are having a baby is overwhelming.  And I was tired.  And I thought I would never get to sleep again.  EVER.  And how was I supposed to mother and care for another little person who might keep me up all night too.  How?  

Oh, HOW, I thank God for this little one.  This little one who came so closely on the heels of her brother.  This little one who wasn't supposed to be my last one, my second one maybe, certainly not my last baby.  But she is.  God knew when he knit her together in my womb, that I needed her right then in that moment.  God knew that my body needed a baby right then because later, when we would try again for another, my body would not work.  I wanted to wait longer then 5 months after Asher to have a baby, but waiting would have left Asher as an only child.  God knew.  

This girl fills me.  She loves fiercly and I fiercly love her.  She sees needs and meets them.  Her heart and her love for people amazes me daily.  Her awareness of the needs of others is a gift.  She has been made to serve and to care for others.  She LOVES it.  She feels deeply.   She worships freely.   She teaches me so much.  And I am so grateful that God gifted her to me when I was so unaware and unprepared that I needed her.  She is a gift of Joy every day, all day.  Thank you Jesus.